lady madonna

Newsflash: I love my job.

A year ago, I couldn't have predicted how happy I'd be teaching 7th & 8th graders. Six months ago, I was questioning my career choice, and felt absolutely terrible about myself all the time. Now, I am so, so happy with my decision to give teaching one more try & take my current job.

From about 7:30am every morning, to at least 4pm every afternoon, I have more fun than I bet anyone else does at their job. I have about 150 12 & 13 year olds for 51-minute periods throughout the day, and I look forward to each period for a different reason. Sure, there are the kids in every class that are a challenge, but the majority of them are so great that they make it easy to deal with the others. I have a hugely supportive staff, who go out of their way to make me feel comfortable, good about myself & my teaching, and just plain not crazy.

Looking back on the hellacious year that was my student teaching, I'm glad that it's over, but still thankful I went through it. It made me see what an educator should not be like, how negativity can bring others down, and that I really can get through anything.

Now, with teaching every day, having a blast with my BTSA support provider, and planning my wedding to my best friend in the world, I really can't see how my life could get better. But somehow, I'm sure it will.

getting better

Things I am looking forward to this summer:

1. sleeping in
2. reading the 7th (& final...sniff) Harry Potter
3. planning my wedding
4. going to other peoples' weddings, including my cousin's and Robbie's aunt's
5. swimming in my pool/attempting to get tan
6. working out (I'll finally have time)
7. figuring out my life

she loves you

Damn you, OC, for making an awesome 4th season, having me buy it on DVD & watch it, fall back in love with you, and then be cancelled.

where do we go from here

So I had a really bad week. This past weekend helped me a lot (nothing like friends & family to make you happy), but last week really beat me down, and made me question so many things about the rest of my life - specifically, my career.

I won't go into specifics (mostly because I don't really want to think about it & depress myself again), but I just find myself at the end of this hellaciously busy & exhausting year unsure of myself and my future. And I hate that I allowed someone to do this to me, but there it is.

Do I want to be a teacher? Should I be a teacher? Am I a good teacher? What the hell else would I do?

I really wish someone could just give me the answers to these hard questions.

here comes the sun

What a difference a year makes.

One year ago today, my grandmother passed away. It's hard for me to believe that it has been a year - sometimes it feels like it was just yesterday, and sometimes it feels like it was such a long time ago. I really missed her on my birthday - my first birthday without her - and think of her often. I have especially been thinking of her in the last week or so, because Robbie and I got engaged last week, and I wish that she could have been here to know about it. She loved Robbie, so I know it would have made her very happy. I'm not a particularly religious person, but it gives me comfort to think that she watches over me from time to time - especially in times like this.

I miss you, Grandma.

Gladys Letha Patrick Cummings
1911-2006